If it was easy, everyone would do it. In this day and age there are a lot more of us “doing it” than in the prior generation. People are persevering in numbers in the millennial generation because they took control. They became disciplined and they nurtured their mental so that when the constant “no”, negative comments or verbal abuse was thrown at them, they knew not to let if define their futures. We cannot allow words, people’s opinions, or judgements to dictate our behavior on the day-to-day basis. What happened to just doing what made us happy. As long as it’s not infringing on someone else’s freedom, why wouldn’t we think like that? Many of us in society are what I like to call “dwellers”.
Dwellers are people who worry about EVERYTHING including but not limited to other people’s opinion of them. They worry about how someone else sees them, they’re constantly worrying about if they’re offending someone by being themselves, they analyze every single thing that’s said to them daily and concern themselves over whether or not it should be something that they’re offended by. All in all they’re worry-warts and are not confident with living in the true version on themselves. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to be YOURSELF.
In life, we’re all going to go through things that challenge us but it’s all about how you go about it handling it and making sure you’re conscious in your behaviors towards the situation. We’ll go through things that test our patience, challenge our morals, and reshape our values along with the way we think. When challenged in life, don’t let it defeat you. Instead, look at it as opportunity to learn, teach and adapt. Let’s look at the following ways in which we can do each of those things.
Evaluate what you could have done better in the situation and how to possibly avoid similar situations all together. Focus on deepening your understanding of what actually happened so that you can correct your reaction in case something similar happens in the future. Our minds are constantly monitoring and interpreting because naturally that’s just how we stay on track but how many of us can say that we actually understood what took place and the impact it’s had on us growth wise? Every single event that happens to you in life is an opportunity for you to further get to know yourself as a person. Embrace the lesson.
I’m a big fan of constructive criticism but many people can’t take it and some of us don’t know how to effectively give it. Constructive Criticism happens as an opportunity for us to “correct something,” however, let’s keep in mind that everything doesn’t need to be corrected. I also believe that opinions should be limited, if not asked for. Many people cross boundaries with this and fail to understand where they went wrong. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re allotted the opportunity to give constructive feedback, focus on the processes used, their strategies, effort, and choices. Before giving feedback, be open to understanding why they may have done things that way.
Constructive feedback is supposed to help you understand how to fix something. It’s not feedback that labels or simply excuses the person(s). Also, practice working on the “process praise” interaction. Meaning, when giving constructive feedback, be sure to also specifically compliment the person on their process and provide solutions for improvement. Later on, write down the constructive criticism given along with the “process praise” so that you can evaluate what was presented to the other person and if there were any pieces of dialogue that could use tweaking for next time.
Offering feedback to others is great when prompted but we must also be conscious of our reasons for doing so, as well as, holding ourselves accountable in staying true to this. Remember: we’re not giving feedback to judge rather to encourage and teach.
Don’t be paralyzed by set backs. It’s normal to feel powerless and incapable when things go wrong or when something promising seems to be slipping away but failure is not the end all be all. Get your actions and reactions in check. Get out of your feelings! Discipline your emotions and remember personal beliefs are both the key to happiness and misery. It’s your beliefs that are causing problems for you and this is why I talk about changing your perspective often. Your mindset holds the key to your success and so you must positively motivate it regularly.
If you’d like to learn more about how your personal beliefs could be hindering you, sign up to receive my free e-book Break-Free From Joy Guilt. I directly address why you’re having a hard time simply living and doing the things you love and are instead concerned about what others will think of you if you’re doing “this” instead of “that”.
All in all, what I want you to take away from this post is to be confident in your choices.
Observe, Learn, Improve and Become better.
Stay Ambitious, Stay Motivated!