Growing older can be both enlightening and overwhelming. As you get older you may find yourself planning more and where it gets overwhelming is when a person plans for something and it doesn’t happen as planned; they may experience emotions of defeat or failure. The feeling of disappointment stemming from “not being where they’d hope they be,” at that point in their life. I’ve been experiencing these very feelings since the beginning of the year in which I’ve termed my “quarter life crisis”. The time in my life where things began to shift out of focus but at the same time, couldn’t be clearer. I’ve been reflecting on every single thing that has happened in my life to as far back as I can remember until now.
I knew I’d be turning “25” in the waking months and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around who I am or are perceived to be at “25”, what moments in my life shaped me into who I am today and what I could have done better. Within the last few months, I fell into a negative cloud of insecurity. I’d dwell on the fact that “I wasn’t where I thought I’d be at 25” and I began to feel disappointed in myself. This became a reoccurring emotion that I felt every day and it created a lot of anxiety in my life up until days before my 25th birthday. Despite the fact of the constant words of encouragement that I received from my family and peers it just wasn’t enough to fill that void of things that I had not yet accomplished. It wasn’t until a few days before my birthday that it finally clicked for me.
All it takes is a major accomplishment or a milestone birthday to realize that
1). Things are about to change
2). Figure out how you will adapt to these changes. I just experienced a transition/ transformation months before my college graduation and some months after. It did not occur to me that soon after I’d be entering another season of change. During this eight month transition and transformation I began to change a lot about myself. I think the biggest thing was learning to change the way that I viewed things and most importantly how I received information.
It’s been a long thorough process and I’ve thought (or obsessed) about a lot these past few months. A lot of things that were constantly on my mind, I’ve not divulged them to anyone; That’s one of the things that I’ve really mastered over these two transformation periods is learning when to keep things to myself. Sometimes, you have to take time to yourself and really think about what it is that you really want and that’s what I’ve been doing these past several months. Though I went through a period of negativity and guilt tripping myself into thinking that I’ve not accomplished enough at 25, I thank god for growth and understanding because what I finally did understand was it wasn’t that I’d not accomplished enough, it was that I had only not accomplished one thing that I really have been battling for a long time –my patience when it comes to certain situations. My anxiety came from me being aware that this was something that needed to change and realizing that this one thing was holding me back from accomplishing that one thing that I had longed for.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.” –Albert Einstein
The moment that I’d realized that I’d been going about this particular situation the same way every time is the moment when I realized that things had to change. Insanity was holding me back. I decided that I was tired, it was time to put childish things away. and to leave any failures in the past. I’ve probably went through every past disappointment in my mind with a fine tooth comb.
I often thought about things like:
- How did that situation make me feel?
- How could I have better handled the situation?
- And what I could have done to prevent it?
My mindset has completely warped and I just refuse to entertain certain types of situations as I did before. It was the moment when I realized that I WAS TIRED. Tired of getting the same results when I felt like I should have gotten so much more, but I had to ask myself: “Did you really work as hard as you could have to get it?” Did I work as hard as I did to achieve other goals as I did this particular one? No…I didn’t. I realized that when it came to this particular goal, I liked to take shortcuts and it ended the same every time because of that.
In the back of my mind, I knew what the real reason was but I was in denial. Although, I experienced a lot of anxiety these last several months, turning 25 has helped me come to terms with reality. It has helped me see things for what they really are and to take responsibility for my part in the situation. On August 19, 2014, I entered into a new season of maturity and I will say I am grateful for the transition and the transformation as it’s helped me change my perspective on a lot of things that have happened, are currently going on and will happen in the future. I guess you can say that I am on my “grown woman” now and I’m keeping in mind to look at the glass as “half full” rather than “half empty”.
The best thing about turning 25 is the wisdom that I’ve picked up along the way. Now that I’ve come to terms with reality, I now understand that I have the experience needed to conquer these challenges that have plagued me for so long. I’m ready!
Just for fun, check out this cool and funny article on “the signs that you may be having a quarter-life crises and what to do if you are.”
If I can leave you with one word of advice it is to simply LIVE and Be HAPPY! 🙂
Stay Ambitious! Stay Motivated!